July 2014 Ask Ainsley

Ask Ainsley

Dear Ainsley,

I’m feeling very lonely. I don’t feel like I have any close friends. I mean, yes I know girls my age, but I just can’t seem to connect with them. They are all focused in little things that don’t matter and I feel left out. They have all known each other since they were born but.. I don’t know. I do have some close friends but they live far away and I don’t see them very often. When I do see them It makes me feel even sadder when they leave. I am longing for a friend that I can call a sister (I think I am close to my parents, and siblings but they aren’t the same). What do you suggest?


Dear Th!nk reader,

First of all I want to remind you that you’re not alone. You have many friends in the body of christ that love you as a sister even though they’ve never met you. I know it can be hard and it may feel like the same situation because you can’t see them in person. I think the reason you can’t connect as easily with some people is that they are as you said focused on little things. While you are focused on God. You can know someone for 5 years and never really have a meaningful conversation with them and you can know someone for 5 days and immediately be having deep real, meaningful conversation and connections. When that happens you can be sure it is the holy spirit. You can connect because you both know the same savior and can share in him a friendship. This has happened to me before. I have some sad news: these people seem rare and far between but when you meet them it is a real blessing! Cherish what time you do have with them! I think God puts people like that far between so that they can minister to more people instead of all in one place. The only thing is that we can’t see each other as often. The cure for this I think is to spread God to all the people so that there are more who are earnestly seeking God and have him in their lives. Those girls who do live near you may pretend that they have all the friends they need with the girls they’ve known since birth but if you push I am sure you will find that they are happy for more friends. Though it may be hard for you to connect with them and you may do more of the giving in the friendship look at them as God’s mission field for you. Most humans are just looking to be accepted whether they know it or not.



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